...last night...

Last night I had one of those parenting moments that made me absolutely heartsick. Ella was whiny about going to bed, and I was a bit reactive to it. I’d sent her down to her room after I heard Mia crying in her bed so that I could make Mia a bottle first. I got down to the girl’s room, picked Mia up, and tried to rock her to sleep. Ella stayed very quiet, but I noticed that she was crying. She looked at me with such a sad face. I put Mia down after a moment and came over to Ella who said “you’re being nice to Mia and not nice to me”. I started to cry. I told Ella how sorry I was and that I would work on MY attitude when she goes to bed too. I told her that being her mommy is the best thing that ever happened to me, and that I loved her so much it makes me cry sometimes.
Bless her heart. I don’t mean to be unfair to either of my girls at any time. This would have felt pretty crappy if I were in her place, and when she said that, it broke my heart. Ella, you are you baby, and I love you more than you’ll ever know.
When I left the room I sat down on the stairs and said a prayer. I know I’m so unworthy to be the mom to these two angels –and why God trusts me with them, I’ll never know. I’m sure grateful that He does, though.

One Word Tag

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Where is your significant other? Home
3. Your hair color? Fabulous
4. Your mother? Busy
5. Your father? Wise
6. Your favorite thing? Sex
7. Your dream last night? Disturbing
8. Your dream/goal? Joy
9. The room you're in? Work
10. Your hobby? Writing
11. Your fear? Failure
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Secure
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Humble (huge flaw)
15. Something on your wish list? Date
16. Where you grew up? Logan
17. The last thing you did? Restroom
18. What are you wearing? Leather
19. Your TV? Flat
20. Your pet? Toys!
21. Your computer? Trunk (ask Lance about that one)
22. Your mood? Good!
23. Missing someone? Yes.
24. Your car? Corolla
25. Something you're not wearing? Necklace
26. Favorite store? Salon
27. Your summer? Warm
28. Love someone? ‘Course!
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday (Ella says: “Crayons aren’t toys, mommy.” and I said, “Sure they are, you play with them, right?” She said “No, breaking them would be playing with them.” I said “Good point.”
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

I tag....YOU! Go forth and post (thanks Pegs!)…

God Bless Tess!

Baby Tessa was blessed on Sunday. Rach's and my friend Steph made the dress for her -and I talked mom into getting it for the baby. I've never seen a baby blessed in pink -but I LOVE it!! How darling is Rachael's cute little family? We spent the better part of the day in SLC. Rach and Seuao put on a lovely lunch and we all got to spend some fun time together.

Left to Right: Grandmother, Dad, Seuao, Lily, Tessa, Rachael, Mom, Granny
Cute little Lily -she is a charmer with the stuff she knows. She can count to 5 in Samoan!

There's our GQ Noah... He's a little dream-boat, and will be a great big brother!

Noah's mommy!Here's Grandmother with myself, Mia, and Ella.

Here's Dad -all business, gathering stuff to get outta there! (When it's time to go, it's time to go!)

Sarah and Mary!

Mary and Allen's beebee Benny! He has the brightest blue eyes you'd ever see!

Here's my Ella. She's starting to look so much older in photographs! :(

The girls were exhausted and fell right asleep on the drive home. I had some lovely quiet driving time. I was belting out some Shania Twain "Come on Over" tune-age. :)

Chazzy B-day

Happy Birthday Chazzy-Bear!! Ella's cousin Chaston turned 4 on New Year's Eve. He's such a little sweetheart (and a lil' bit crazy too)! We love you Chaston!
Here are Debbie and Donny -someone said somthing funny, and I caught some great smiles!

Mia enjoyed the stairs! Lance took this "back the truck up" picture!
We took these last night -thought they were too cute not to share.
Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

It's that time again. Holy cats! I have resolutions galore, but I don't have them written down... Is that a bad sign? I love the anticipation of something new, of landmarks, of what will come with a new start in 2009. Sarah snapped this shot of me, and I think it's appropriate for my entry! I am stepping in to 2009 with "eyes wide open" in terms of being real with myself on a spiritual, on a physical, and a psychological level. I want to be able to progress in each area and really become a stronger woman as a whole. Here's to the new year!

Merry Christmas!

For those who didn't see our card, here is the picture that went out. How adorable are my girls??

* * *

Christmas Eve was spent at the in-laws first. Here is their tree!

Here are Ella and her cousin Aneesa with Grandma.

Cousin Chaston (Chazzy-Bear).

Lance and myself -funny shot!

Me and Candace (Lance's sister). I love this picture!

Afterward, we went for some more Christmas Eve festivities at my parent's house. Dad reads the Luke 2 story from the bible as we sing corresponding Christmas hymns.

Here is Ella cuddling with Lexie while singing. The book Lexie is holding is a set of the hymns printed so that we all have a copy -and Mary even transposed them all a bit lower so that we could sing them easier! It's so beautiful with everyone singing in all four parts. :)

More Ella cuddling while singing (that's baby Tessa)!
Grandmother -Dad's mom came from California for the holidays! Dave (who always looks crazy in pictures I take), Lex, and Noah!
Mia just roamed... :)

* * *

It's Christmas day!!! Here's our tree on the big morning. Yes, that is "Biscuit" that Santa brought Ella, and "Cookie Monster" for Mia-babes.

Ella loved him!

Lance got his new "Packers" jersey (it says "Pack Daddy" on the back)!
He got me this gorgeous bracelet -hard to see. I need photography lessons!
Chaedon was excited about his stash... it's mixed in with Mia's toys. :)

Mia was just happy with boxes and the excitement!

...Then she'd had enough.Odds and ends Christmas spew around the house (forgive me, I have to document the cuteness):

More. Yes, I need to get some stinkin' pictures in those frames!
After the excitement at our home, we headed to my family's house for more fun! Here's mom's tree.

Ella -mid-gift-storm.

Mia taking a break in her new rocking chair.Tessa joining her -in her wierd little chair that Rach got her!
Christmas Chaos!!
The fameous holiday rolls! Thanks Rach!!
To top off the holiday bliss, Mia took her first steps!

Merry Eve-y-Eve!

Lance’s family has created a bit of a holiday of the day before Christmas Eve, which is lovingly titled “Eve-y-Eve”! Who doesn’t need another reason to wish each other good will? Merry Eve-y-Eve, one and all!
Christmas is such a beautiful time of year. I love the hustle and bustle of the season. I love the lights, the music, the events, the anticipation, and especially holding Santa’s gifts over my daughter’s head to extort some form of good behavior… Does it work? Not really.
If I don’t get a chance to blog until after the holiday, to all my dear friends and family, Merry Christmas! God Bless!