Wednesday, April 15, 2009

In my heart

In my heart I have that same feeling today that I remember having in first grade when Miss Marvel asked me what was the matter. I remember clear as day how I felt knowing that my mom was going into open-heart surgery. I have felt that same feeling only a few times, each including a very specific story/ time / place. I feel that way today. Mom goes into surgery in less than a half an hour and then it’s in the Doctor’s hands –God’s hands, really. I just don’t believe we have control over life or death. For God’s reasons babies are born when and to whom they’re born, and for the same God’s reasons, lives are taken back: regardless of the will or power we think we have. This has been a source of sincere comfort to me, having lost a brother in completely unexplainable circumstances, and having blessed with children when God knows I haven’t deserved them. Lives are within His control –thankfully. I know God is protecting my Mom right now, and that the outcome is what is ultimately going to be God’s will. I love you, Mom.