Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Turn the page...

There has been so much to consider with this huge decision and shift in my life. Today was my last day of working in an actual titled office job. I am only ‘changing positions’ so to speak, as the work certainly doesn’t diminish -taking care of my two girls and being all kinds o’ pregnant -soon to be 3 girls to care for on a 24/7 basis. I can’t complain, it IS my choice, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. As I left the office today, it only felt right to close this chapter and embrace the next. There are a thousand fears that accompany the decision -and it’s going to be approached day-to-day; the only way I can, as I have no organized plan set up (which makes me crazy). I don’t know what to expect -from myself. I view this new life as one where I have little justification for impatience and frustration -however- I feel as volatile, vulnerable, and irritable as I have ever been in my life.
If we can make it through these next two months -and assuming the Lord blesses me with an even temperament after the baby is born, then facing the next five years and what they’ll bring will be all the more embraceable.
I want this. Really.