Friday, May 30, 2008


Ever notice that the internal dialogue you’re listening to isn’t singing a pretty tune? We talk to ourselves all day long –and in those times that we pay attention, what are we saying? Sometimes we need a firm solid reminder that we are human and are flawed –which in and of its self, is beautiful. Yesterday I watched a good friend of mine as she dealt with some extraordinary circumstances beyond what I’ve ever experienced. She vocalized a few of the thoughts in her head –and I couldn’t help but notice how hard she was on herself. It made me step back:
We need to be kinder to ourselves.
Often we find our “ah-ha” moments (as Opra calls them) as something that kicks our butts into shape, and may inspire a couple of days of great dieting, or extending service, or house cleaning, etc. This time it was much more of an awakening to the fact that my little “ah-ha” moments are fleeting, yet this concept needs to become permanent. I believe that we are given our trials as a way to better ourselves. Many would see the end-result (i.e. coming out on-top) as the important goal. I’m starting to see it differently; I believe that allowing ourselves to feel the moments of sorrow, or anger, or joy and being forgiving with our own frailty is what is going to make our lives more meaningful, and ultimately create a stronger person inside. I’m not necessarily here to “endure to the end” so to speak –as some amazing reward awaits me. If I can love myself and be completely satisfied with who I am as a woman and individual, then all the end result will take care of itself.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Preschool Graduation

Had to put a blurb in about Preschool Graduation. Miss Lynn and Miss Kristie are some of the most wonderful teachers I've ever met. I'll tell you what, I've never seen anyone get a bigger kick out of Ella than Miss Lynn! Ella talks about her all the time -and has even said that she wants to be a teacher like Miss Lynn someday. :)

Ella next to Logan. This picture makes me giggle.

Ella wins the award for "Little Miss Optimist" -she was ALWAYS excited about what they were going to do for the day. I must be doing something right!

Ella with Miss Lynn!

Ella is 4!!

Ella had a fantastic birthday. We'd all gotten together on the Nolan side earlier -and I have no pictures! SORRY! The next weekend, the girls and I hung out with my mom for a little while...

We then went home and did some cooking! I'll tell you what, I brought my A-GAME on these divine little drops of heaven (butterscotch oatmeal cookies), and the banana bread wasn't too shabby either! I mentioned earlier that I can bake like a champ!
On Sunday we went to the Sortor grandparent's home.

Cute little smiles.
Another fun present!

Afterward we all chilled outside while Ella and her cousin Chaston played on her new "slip & slide"! ...Can you believe these kids are only 7 months apart?!
Happy Mia!

Ooo, she's losin' it....

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Baaad night

Mia came down with a runny nose yesterday -which isn't a big deal. Well, I gave her some medication after her bath and put her right to bed. About an hour later, she was having a really hard time breathing, and was scared & crying. Poor little baby! Lance and I decided we'd take her into te ER (Insta care was closed). She had a chest x-ray, which is AWFUL. They put her in this plexi-vice spiel, and I had to stand there and hold her little hands up. She screamed and screamed -her little face was bright red. Tears and snot ran down her face, but I handled it okay... till she opened her eyes. She didn't taken them off of mine as she screamed for the reamainder of her time there, and I just lost it. I feel awful having her watch me with tears streaming down my face, but for any mom who has done this with their kid -they understand the heartbreak. :( They said that her lungs are consistent with viral rather than bacterial illness -so that's good. We got good drugs and they observed her for a while. I got to bed after 1 AM. Needless to say, as my alarm was set for 4:30 for work, I decided not to go. Ella is getting sick too, so it's a 2-fer. Good times. A big shout-out to the babes (Noah and Lily) we hung out with this weekend. Hope you stay healthy!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

It's so me, it's scary.

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.

Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.

Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.

You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.

However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

I love......

I was reading my friend Joni's blog the other day and was inspired to jot down a few things I love -for the sake of my girls who will (I'm sure) need to know this someday.

*I love the sound of my children laughing. When they laugh, both of them get the "half moon" eyes that I have, and the look on their faces is priceless.

*I love chilling outside on a summer evening with my family. Nearly ever weekend we'll get the ole' classic rock tunes rolling and make a dutch oven with Ella zooming in and out of the house -and me freaking out about letting the flies in... Some of our best conversations happen here.

*I love homey scents -like cinnamon and apple. I always like my home to smell yummy and inviting. ...It makes people feel more welcome.

*On that note, I love being the "hostess" -not to a crazy degree like Monica from "Friends", but I love having people over and taking care of them.

*I love fresh clean laundry.

*I love the smell of my baby after her bath when she rubs her eyes and looks at me with so much wonder as I sing her a song or two before bed.

*I love Super Mario Cart -and the fact that Ella does too. Great bonding. *Great entertainment in crappy weather! :)

*I love going to the Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings -just to get out of the house, and look at fun creative things that others come up with.

*I love Christmas and all of the planning and wrapping and home-made card making, and cooking, and anticipation -it's intoxicating.

*I love shopping for pretty things for me (most mom's don't admit this) -like purses or make-up or a new pair of swanky sunglasses.

*I love watching Ella do the "wiggle-waggle dance" -that NEVER gets old.

*I love a good conversation with a friend that leaves me inspired to be better.

*I love becoming a full-on DIVA in my car when a good tune rolls out.

*I love going to sleep on nights that my alarm clock isn't going to wake me up the next morning.

I suppose I could go on for a LONG time, as more and more things come to my mind. I don't understand how someone can go through life without passion for what inspires them. I sincerely LOVE these things -and many more. I feel deeply, and wouldn't want to change that. I guess I am simply here to take in the experience, because I know how irreplaceable and fragile it all is.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

7 crazy facts about me

I have been tagged by Heidi -my ole' Panguitch Elementary School friend. Bless her heart -she turned out as amazing as I knew she would!

1.) I can bake and not cook. Lance can tell you all about how I can make some fabulous cookies -even yummy banana bread or raspberry buckle, but not so much on the dinners. I have no creativity in this area.
2.) I have a sexy phone voice (or so I've been told...). I've done years of customer service/ sales & training folks which has developed a fantastic sexy phone voice. Hope you don't get me on the line -I'll sell you something. :)
3.) My dad was born in the Grand Canyon, Grandmother married in Sequoia National Park, I have actually a LOT of family history with national parks. We reunion in one every other year.
4.) I like to teach Ella big words so that I feel like a smart mom. She'll surprise you with a sentence like "acutally, that's quite impressive".
5.) I have issues with folks who pronounce the word nuclear as "nucular" (Prez Bush for one!). I am also not a huge fan of Craig T. Nelson -and my family knows this is a sensitive spot.
6.) I haven't voted since I was 18, yet, am quite politically involved. Shamey!
7.) I am the queen of justification. You need help getting over something? Come chat with me.

Now I tag you! Joni, Kate, & Heather!

1. On your post, link back to the person who tagged you - that would be me, in this case.
2. Post your assignment on your blog - seven weird or random facts.
3. Post these rules on your blog.
4. Post links to the bloggers that you will be tagging.
5. Go to those blogs and give them a comment on their blog to let them know that you have tagged them.

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Saucer

Ya know, the saucer is a fabulous thing: entertainment 360! Genius.

Friday, May 16, 2008

The return of Ugly Frog

As these things go, kids toys tend to come and disappear. Ella can tell you all about the "green monster" who takes her toys that she doesn't pick up... Is this an effective method? No. However, I have been know to take a trash bag and sort through her toys and get rid of the ones I can't stand on more than one occasion. *The KEY is to get rid of the bag, because it's like Christmas on one side for the child who realized she missed the toys HOWEVER she becomes a bit cheesed that they were missing in the first place... Puts you in an uncomfortable position -but I digress.

So yesterday we get home from grocery shopping at Walmart (Lord give me strength) and I was thirsty. I was zooming in and out of the garage grabbing groceries out of the car trunk -and I spotted my stash of Minute Maid Light Raspberry Passion (YUM) and reached in for a can. Well, when you're feeling for cans in a semi-dark garage, you don't want to feel something SQUISHY!! I pulled my hand out VERY quickly as I screeched, dropping the can on the ground, thinking something DEAD has landed on my Minute Maid Light Raspberry Passion stash -NO BUENO! I peer in, expecting to see a corpse, but no, it's worse. It's Ugly Frog. This wretched toy has been my nemesis from day one, and now it's out to take my Minute Maid Light Raspberry Passion stash down too? I don't think so. I was so skeeved that it was actually still hard to open the can -but my thirst won. Ugly frog still resides in this box in my garage (Ella is quite creative when it comes to stashing things from the green monster). I don't think I can reach in for another can of Minute Maid Light Raspberry Passion, HOWEVER, next time the green monster strikes, the whole box goes down, baybee. Since we got Ugly Frog back 2x during our Sam's Club excursion, and since he has taken over my Minute Maid Light Raspberry Passion stash, OKAY, Ugly Frog -3, Rebecca -0, but these are battles. I SHALL WIN THE WAR!!!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Slug Mom

YES I AM A SLUG MOM!! Yesterday was Ella's birthday -she turned 4 years old. I will do a better post when I get some decent pictures! :D Here is a picture my gorgeous mom back in the day... It's a 4-generation shot with Rachael (baby), Mom, Granny, and Great Granny.

Dave & Lex

My brother Dave and his wife Lexie are going to move. Dave just picked up a fantastic new position in SLC and is closing down shop here in Logan. These two have been through quite a battle from the beginning of their marriage. David continued school and just graduated a few days ago. Only last year, the two of them opened their own business -and worked like crazy to get it running. They welcomed baby Noah in September -and opened the business just after that. Last month they shut it down. Between school, baby, business (opening AND closing), and insane family circumstances, these two have come out of it all with such grace. I can't imagine going through what they have. I'm only grateful for their example to me of what love can overcome, and the power of faith. Congrats on the new job Dave! You'll do amazing.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Being A Mom

Being a mom isn't easy. You can prepare for sleep deprevation, you can prepare for sickness and even tantrums. I guess what I feel totally unprepared for is the heartbreak that can come from loving your children so much -and not having them get it. Can I just say: Mom, I get it. When we as mothers hope and pray for the understanding of the deepest and purest and unconditional love we have for our children -the light at the end of the tunnel is that one day they will sincerely understand it. My mom has been through some insane health issues (from open heart surgery when I was in 1st grade, to strokes, to lumps, to breathing issues -the list goes on), she's earned her doctorate in research & evaluation, she gives endless time and effort toward church, she has raised six children and was able to instill in them a strong work ethic, love for their neighbor, intelligence, and an individual compass allowing each to make mistakes -yet learn and grow and become all the better. My mom isn't your typical mom, however, without her influence, there's no way I would be the woman I am. I love you mom.

Girls, my own understanding is a hope to me that you will someday know and recognize the joy I have in being your mom. I don't know what I must have done to receive the honor in raising you, but it's the most precious gift I will ever know.


74 words

Speed test

I'm not the fastest typer in the world, but this is a fun test I stole from my friend Ashlee's blog!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Mean Girls

Last night Ella heard the neighbor kids outside bouncing a ball around. She darted out and went over to talk to them. I stepped outside and listened for a minute. I peered around and saw the little girl she was talking to -who was about 5 inches shorter, but obvioulsy older -maybe four or five. She said "we don't want to play with you, why did you even come over here?". I was taken aback. It takes EVERYTHING a mom has to not let that mamma-bear out and let that little girl have a piece of your mind. I did keep in mind however, that it wasn't my backyard, and simply called Ella back to come inside. She didn't really understand what happened, and still wanted to go play. I don't want her to understand. Ella has such a big heart. She loves all kids, and accepts people as they are. She'll throw her tantrums, but I've never heard something so mean come out of her mouth. I've been stewing about this -and Lance doesn't want her to play with those girls at all now. After a while, I took Ella's little face in my hands, and told her how lucky the kids are who will be her friends someday.

Quote of the day

Lance called me up and told me his sad tale: as he brushed Ella's hair and got her ready for school, Ella thoughtfully observed: "Daddy, your hair is shaped like an M!" ...Out of the mouths of babes...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Ella + Lexie

Ella is a funny girl. She has decided to attach herself to Lexie (my brother Dave's wife) in a CRAZY way. First at Mia's blessing, I've NEVER seen Ella be so well behaved sitting next to Lex. I didn't even have to break out the emergency Skittles! So the other day she got to go play with Lex and go to a band concert with her in the evening. When she came home I had to leave her downstairs for a few minutes while I put Mia back to sleep. Well, I heard the front door open, but wasn't in a position to yell down the stairs and see if she was there ...then came the wailing. Lots of crying -and it was sad crying too. I decided to zoom down (and left Mia hanging, who then started to cry too) and see what the problem was. Ella was cross-legged in the front doorway crying "I miss Lexie". Man. Kids don't get that no one will ever love them as much as you do, and how hard it is to grow a thick skin that can withstand the blows that comes with "but you have mommy" then "but I want Lexie". :) I'll post a picture of them together soon. Yeesh!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Milly Kisses

Ella gave our sweet baby this nickname and I don't think it could be more perfect! Seriously folks, how stinkin' cute are my kids?!

Monday, May 5, 2008

OK! The 5-fer

Fine fine fine. For those of you who check my blog regularly, yes the weekend was originally a 5-fer.
First, David's graduation: David is my brother and is an incredible man. He has managed to finish school amidst making his own business, raising a baby (Noah), and keeping his marriage and family together amidst some very rough trials. I'm so impressed with his drive. I honestly don't know anyone with a stronger work ethic than my brother Dave and his wife Lexie. Way to go Dave! Congratulations! Second, Ella's birthday: What a fun night! She got her dinosaur cake (tasty!) -with dinosaurs that make noise (noisy toys are my nemesis -no one told me that these cake toppers were NOISY) and lots of fun clothes and shoes and even some cool toys in the deal. Ella was so sweet about it. She actually turns 4 on the 14th, but this was the opportunity for everyone to share in the fun! She called it her "early birthday celebration".

Third & Fourth, blessings: Sunday -Yes, I had pulled Mia's blessing from the list, as there were simply too many road blocks. By a very inspired twist of fate, Lance's work cancelled the Sunday shift, and it was back on. My dad blessed her -and it was amazing. Little Mia is so loved it's overwhelming. Bless her heart, she's so attached to Lance and myself that she now will hardly let anyone else hold her without her "losing it" as it's been called. We've been pretty tight this weekend. :) Fifth, Mother's day: We all celebrated our mother in the afternoon -this after a delightful dinner, buffet style (works GREAT when the numbers get this big). Mom is the keystone to this family. It's so wonderful to be able to honor her and let her know how much she means to us.
It's been a crazy and busy weekend with lots of planned events, but there were two unexpected highlights: The first is a song that my brother David wrote for his wife Lexie. They've gone through SO much, and the song tells her in such an incredibly beautiful way how much she means to him. David played it for the family -and I watched Lexie bury her head in tears. We all felt such a wonderful spirit of love in the home. The second was a very spontaneous and suprising announcement that my sister Rachael is expecting her second child! We can't believe it!! Her kids will be 15 months apart! WE'RE SO EXCITED!!! Lily will be a big sissy!
Lots of emotion, lots of love. I have an incredible family that I am so grateful to be a part of.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

The 4-fer

There have been many an exchanged email buzzing around my family about the BIG 4-fer (not like a 2-fer, this is HUGE) this weekend! Grandmother (Dad’s mom) is being flown in for the events on Friday. To celebrate:
* Dave's graduation -he's graduating with his business degree from USU. My brother is amazing and deserves his own blog entry, so more on that later.
* Ella's birthday -she's gonna be 4! I'm hoping that somehow that magically means she won't throw any more temper tantrums... :D Wishful thinking? I can't believe how quickly my little girl is growing up! I guess they're not tantrums, as much as whining. We're in a weird stage where she's not wanting to nap, but she's too worn out by the end of the day to really keep it together. Fun for me!
* Benny's Blessing -Baby Benny is being blessed on Sunday. Allen (Mary's hubby) is picking his mom up from the train -she's coming in from CA for the event. I'm glad I'll be here for it! Few women deserve to be a mom as much as my sister Mary. It's always been what she's known she was meant to do (as successful as she is -with a degree in Biology working for IHC as a surgical tech).
* Mother's Day -A celebration honoring our Mom. I guess we'll all do our own Mother's day spiel with our families, as 4 for 5 siblings are parents; however, this is for OUR mom. I have a nice gift that I can't wait to give her. It will be great.

The itinerary:
· Saturday morning: Meet at parent's and head to Dave’s graduation at USU.
· After the graduation: dinner at Hamiltons
· Saturday evening: party for Ella’s birthday –SIMPLE with hotdogs, etc.
· Sunday afternoon: Benny’s blessing & pictures
· After church: dinner for Mother’s day

Lots going on!