surgery

Headin' to the hospital in 45 minutes. Thanks for all your help, your thoughts and your prayers on behalf of myself and my little family. :)

Halloween Party Part 1

On Saturday we had a super exciting Halloween party for all the grandkids in my family. It was AWESOME! Here is me with the three girls!
Baby Sabrina!

Milly-Kisses!

Ella-Boo!

My sister Mary put this collage together of all the kiddos (including Rachael in the bottom right corner!)- how stinkin' adorable is that??

MUST DO

Not to self: get new camera battery. My blog needs new pictures!!!

This Monday...

This Monday I'm having a hysterectomy. The details of why aren't necessary, but it's something that I have to do.

There are a million thoughts and fears that go with something like this. ....Most of which can't even be voiced because it's such a strangely private and quiet ending to something that has defined me in a way -to something that provided my own personal meaning for my life.

That will be gone.

It's not an organ of my body that I'll be missing, it is a worth. My children mean absolutely everything to me. My body has told me (in a very painful way) that I am not supposed to have any more... It's the end of this era. I'm growing old. My life is so real -and is taking on a new shape of where I stand in it. I'm not 'young and fabulous' -I have years and years behind me. ...More than turning 32 years old, THIS is the moment I have dreaded: realizing that any youth in me is long gone. Realizing that there is no moving backward -and these three angels are the only angels I will bare.

I would not be doing this if I hadn't come to terms with all of it. I am absolutely greatful for each life I have brought in to this world; my role goes on to raise them now.

I can't put these words together right.

Mmm Not So Much -Phoebes

SIIIICK

Oh man... The last two days I've been SO tired -inexplicably (baby getting me up in the middle of the night is bad, but this was SO much worse). It hit like a ton of bricks yesterday afternoon, and I'm sick sick sick. :(

One nostril works, so maybe I should be seeking out the silver lining here?

BTW:
Heard the most BEAUTIFUL Taylor Swift song -read these lyrics, and tell me if as a mother -or if you're close with your mother that this isn't amazing:

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today

...When I get your camera...

Aaah Kimmy. I got your camera, and I'm sorry to say-
I took my photo, a few times -just to play.
The camera was nice, I was looking GREAT,
Perhaps next time you should tell me to wait!
Now the images are yours to treasure,
All I can say now is; you're welcome! My pleasure!

"What the Favre?"

So how 'bout that game last night? It was nice to see Brett Favre kick Green Bay's bum.

GO VIKINGS!

Happy Birthday to MEEE!

How TIME FLIES! I'm old -but the birthday was goooood. Here's me -32 years old.

During the day, Mom and I went shopping and spent a little time together. Later, Lance told me that we'd stay in for the evening and cooked me a romantic and wonderful dinner for my birthday. We had king-crab legs, steak with mushrooms, shrimp, and baked potatoes... It was awesome! He was such a sweetheart and made sure that my birthday was full of happiness. :O)

Here's my HOTT CHEF.

...Some of dinner.

Ok, here's the two of us before we headed to Lance's family's house to pick up the girls... Once we got there the entire family (including Scott and Candace/ kiddos as well as Chaedon) were gathered for a surprise party just for me! WOW! Who gets that??? It was the sweetest thing ever! They gave me some beautiful gifts, and Donny even made me his famous orange cheesecake for dessert. WOW. *Lance took a picture with his cell for me! The next morning the girlz and I took off for a fun weekend in SLC. Here's our "on the way" photo! Yeah, Mia has a thing for toothbrushes, and Ella was more interested in her "homework" than posing for a picture! You'd only see Sabrina's car seat, so it wasn't worth it to try to get her in the shot... :)

Generally speaking, this weekend (my birthday weekend) is the pique of the fall colors in Logan Canyon. I think our early mountain snow storm drabbed out the colors a bit... I tried to catch a glimpse of the beauty, however.

While in SLC we had an awesome little chick -Andie- come and do "glitter toes" for all of us! Here's the order, starting with me on the bottom in the darkest red: me, Mom, Rach, Lex, Mary, Sarah. We had SOOO much fun just hanging out and enjoying each other's company... It's what the ultimate birthday weekend was to me --time with those I love.

...Got my traditional carrot cake!!!

Here's me and my sisters -the picture says it all. We're the best of friends. I can't imagine my life without them -and truly, they made my birthday absolutely wonderful. Left to right: Rach, me, Sarah, Mary.

Getting older isn't a big deal. I think it's just weird to know that there are SO many more people who are younger than me...

Hmmm.

It's been an amazing 32 years. I couldn't ask for more.

friends

My BFF Erin took me out today for my birthday. She's such a kindred spirit. I'm so grateful to have her in my life -she understands me better than almost anyone, I think.

Earlier in the month, my sweetheart friend Jami took me out for my birthday too -and today sent me a text just telling me she loves me.

I have some of the most amazing and beautiful friends in my life. I'm so blessed.