thought

There is more to my love for my children than they will ever understand. Have you ever seen “Because I Said So” with Diane Keaton? I was thinking about her birthday “speech” she gives her daughters… She hits such a resounding and true point: “Let me tell you something about motherhood, okay? I mean, it’s the most impossible love.” There is no way these children will ever know how deeply every aspect of their lives is a part of me. Standing by and watching them grow up is terrifying –you only want to protect them and keep them in the vulnerable and dependent stage where they’re not having to take responsibility on themselves, where I –as the mom- can make sure that everything will always be okay.

How terrible for my mom to watch me make mistakes.

The Big 3-2! Happy Birthday Baby!

Lance turned 32 on Saturday. We had a fantastic weekend. Here's Lance with the girls opening his gift. You can see the adorable card Ella wrote for him!

We spent the morning playing the game that I tend to kick some serious TRASH at... Super Mario World 3!! Oh, don't get me started... I'm really really good at this game.
My children are mezmorized when I play.

Oh! We got her attention.

PS- NO commentst from the Peanut Gallery about Mia's little haircut. Lance did it on a whim (with good intentions), and my little Milly-Kisses looks like a mushroom now. We'll fix it.

I thought this was a funny picture that I took while Lance concentrated and tried to keep up with me on this game (no luck). It reminds me of pictures of my mom and dad, where dad doesn't pay attention to the camera, but mom always looks posed!
Here's our La-La-Boo. I can't get enough of her smile! :)

...So I jumped in a shot with her!

Here she is again -the little cheese-ball!...And here with the Birthday Boy!

Ok, this is a funny story, because I just wanted ONE decent shot. Look at who is psyching himself out and BLINKING on every picture!!

Ha Ha Ha -it was getting funny.

I'm usually batteling Ella to keep her eyes open, and I'm not posting all the pictures I took either. We must have gone through 10 or so pictures -all with Lance blinking!

We headed to Lance's parent's house for dinner that night. We had "John's Chicken" -John being Lance's older brother. It is AMAZING. It's Italian/ Teriyaki/ Jalipeno/ Maple-Bacon goodness, all barbecued to perfection. Mmmmmmm.

From his parents, Lance received a gorgeous Invicta dress watch.

You can't see it, but behind those cheeks lies Mia's FIRST malted Easter egg! ...Blue!

Candace and Scott hung out with us that evening. ...A HUGE thanks to Debbie and Donny who kept our Ella for the night! Here she is, making herself quite comfy.

And here's our Mia, after such an exhausting birthday. Precious.

Finally, a quick note to my husband;

Lance, through it all, on your birthday especially, I hope you know how dearly you are loved and cherished. I'm SO grateful to your parents -on this day especially, that they brought you into this world, and raised you to become such an incredible person. You are strong, you're smart, you're talented (even though I'm SO much better at Super Mario World 3), and you're in love with your family, who is just as crazy about you. I am honored to be your wife. Happy Birthday, my love.

Dr. Sales -fix THIS fire!

So I just had quite the MISERABLE experience with a CRAP Chiropractor here in Logan. I went by a referral who told me that she went to see him about 6 times in December?! That should have been my huge Red Flag #1, but the terrible pain I’ve been experiencing in my neck was enough to motivate me to make the appointment anyway.
I arrived to sign a TON of paperwork, one of which included the “missed appointment” policy, which MAY be common, but I don’t see it much –and it looks like an excuse to bill my insurance regardless. Red Flag #2.
I went in to the patient room (hadn’t been updated since the 70’s –Red Flag #3 (not a successful practice?), and waited for the Doctor. He came in and proceeded to ask me a million questions, which was fine, but time-consuming.
He went into a few different speeches, first making me feel like a terrible mother for taking TYLENOL (heaven forbid) because my liver will only take SO MUCH. The next speech was selling his business of Chiropractics and how important he was and how the body is electrical, and the spinal cord is the most precious thing to take care of, blah blah blah. “When the fire alarm is ringing, do you throw water (making the actual motion with his hands) on the ALARM, or on the FIRE???? Let’s fix the FIRE.”
Sales. Red Flag #3
He insisted on taking x-rays (even though I’d told him that I have had my neck out 2x in my life, and one adjustment fixed everything) which was Red Flag #4, because I’m PREGNANT.
Next, he performed some kind of muscle test, and sent in his massage therapist –before which I hinted that I didn’t have all day to be doing this. The therapist took maybe 4 minutes with my neck, then left.
When the Doctor came back in, he was talking about how he’ll be adjusting me next time, after he looks at my x-rays, Red Flag # 5 (WHAT? He didn’t look at them while this stupid massage therapist was “working” on me?) and how he wants me to ice my neck repeatedly, etc. I was amazed, yet, not surprised that he wasn’t going to do a damn thing to my neck and only worry about booking his next flipping appointment.
As I left, the receptionist did her best to schedule me for two days later, but I made up the “child care” excuse and told her I’d call her. I could tell she’d been coached to NOT let folks go without booking that appointment and she tried to schedule it anyway and have me call her later if it WOULDN’T work; Red Flag #6. I said “no thanks” and left with my $20.00 ice-pack. When I got in the van I cried.
To top it off with Red Flag #7, he CALLED ME at 9:00 last night and asked how I was?! What the *^&*??? I told him “no, I’m not feeling better” and when he asked what time my appointment was and I told him I didn’t have one, I got a shocked “Well, you better call first thing in the morning to make sure we can fit you in”. Seriously? How terrible is your business that you’re calling your patients at 9:00 at night to make sure you have something to do tomorrow? What a fine end to such a miserable experience. AARGH.

:(

Accessories

I found myself chasing Mia yesterday while she sported my lovely fluffy scarf (thanks Mach). This little goober is daring to give me hope that we might have ourselves a girly-girl after all!!

Nanny's take-away from the sleepover extravaganza

The following is a quote from my mom's blog:

But last night, while Ella was spending the night with me, I began to develop the dictionary for the next generation.
"I am not hungry" means I know I can talk Granny out of treats after Mom leaves. (It's not true except in Ella's mind)
"I am not tired" means I can get you to play with me more, I know I can and I am not going to even try and go to sleep.
"I am hungry" means I want to cook something with you, not necessarily eat it, just cook it.
"Let's go back to bed" or "Let's take a nap" No matter how attractive the thought may be, .,do not fall for this one. It is not what it appears to be! I was so excited, go back to bed at 7 a.m., having already cooked and eaten pancakes and eggs and juice I thought, yea!!! This is the reward Grannys get for being so Granny-like. It really means, I want all your attention for myself. I want you to play with me in your big bed. I have no intention of going back to sleep, I am tricking you into more play in a new location.
And for the last one for the day:"I don't like to pick up toys" in conjunction with it's dramatic big brother, "I really do not like to clean up!"Coming from a four year old these both mean I am going to avoid this request. . . To which I first responded, "I don't like to pick up toys either, especially when I didn't take them out" Of course, that is when the big dramatic brother entered the picture. Not just stated once or twice but three times, "I really do not like to clean up!" (neither do I) "I really do not like to clean up!" (if I did would my house look like this?) "I really do not like to clean up!" (Well you have a choice. .I did not raise my voice. "You can help me clean up the toys or not come back and spend the night at Granny's for a very long time." She did choose to help clean up, and did do some, but without my help, it was getting to late and I had an appointment at 10 a.m. and I still had to take her home. So the delay part did sort of work.

I wonder what my words mean to Ella--
No means maybe,
Maybe means ask again and again, a yes is right around the corner.
Yes means I can expect to get the same response every time I ask, so why ask.
Rules-"we don't need rules" a direct quote from last night's dinner conversation with Ella!
No dessert means not while Mommy is here (but not last night, no dessert means NO dessert.)

The best part of Girl Scouts!

Good stuff -totally me!

You Are Thin Mints

You are bold and brave. You dare to be different, and you are confident about who you are. Your fearlessness has paid off. You are extremely well liked and popular. You are charismatic and charming without even trying to be. People appreciate your unique take on life. You are willing to take risks, speak your mind, and live life to the fullest.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

Sleepover with Nanny!

Ella has such WONDERFUL Grandparents! She has had several opportunities to sleepover at each’s home and spend some precious time with my and Lance’s parents. It’s the biggest blessing to live so close to our families –and it’s hard to imagine ever leaving this town. Good thing we’re not looking!
*Thanks mom for taking Ella last night. She had been SO excited to go! Hope you both had fun!

Random

So I guess my blog has been on the fritz? What the heck? I'll add some fun random pictures, as I often do. Here is an exciting Yahtzee game!I need a photography class -and/or a better camera, as EVERYONE gets washed out, or lost in the light. Any experts have some tips for me???? Nah, we didn't let Mia play, but HEY, NANNY! Pikachu is alive and well at out little Pokemon house. He played Yahtzee too, and was quite vocal every time we asked Ella to "roll nicely"...

Here I am, watching the madness -and watching Ella kick both Lance's AND my butt.

More interest, still no fun for baby. Sorry! Am I mean?

Spaghetti dinner! Here's where the real fun begins....

It's a rare picture when I get the girls with eyes open...

Mia gets her revenge... If you can't roll dice, why not make a spaghetti mess?

Good stuff!

The lovely Ella. Here is the ever-adorable Mia-stare when Mickey Mouse comes on. Note the accessories? The kid LOVES hats and scarfs -she's her momma's girl! BTW, don't bother trying to get her attention during this show. It's next to impossible.

Here I am all up in her grill, and she still won't look away.

She does get up and go from time to time, though. I'll tell you, it's GREAT that this kid is starting to walk more!!!

Headin' To Draper

This afternoon we're taking a family excursion to Draper, Utah to tour the temple before it's dedicated. I don't talk about religion much, mostly because this is a public forum and it's very very personal to me. I will talk for a moment about why I have faith.
Faith, by definition is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof. The beauty of which, means I have absolutely no need to ever defend it. When my brother John died, something happened in me that was so subtle; it took a long time to understand it. Where I have seen some crash in despair, where I had seen others writhe in agony and utter grief at such a “complete loss” –it was not the case with me. The sadness and pain I felt was not for John’s loss, but for my own. I wouldn’t see him for the rest of my mortal existence, however, it wasn’t forever. As I processed what had happened, and moved through the motions along with my family –none of which was easy- the gratitude for a belief that our lives are not over at mortal death was nothing short of profound.
The missing piece that I figured out so much later was that I truly had NOT questioned anything that I’d already had a testimony of. At that time, I decided that everything else that I’d questioned or “taken issue with” with regard to my faith didn’t matter. The very fundamentals were what could have been called into question –but they weren’t. This means to me, that the details aren’t as important as I thought they were, and consequently, I accept it all. This is not because it’s easier or because I gave up searching –it’s because the beauty of faith was revealed; that if I already knew John lived and I will see him again, then I take on faith with as much conviction that the rest of the teachings of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints is true too.

Girls on my bed

So this first picture would have been a LOT cuter if my lil' camera wasn't be-smudged with baby-love. I thought Ella looked SO pretty in the shot, even though she looks to be in a bit of a dream-like mist..........

Seriously, folks! Aren't they adorable?!