Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Pregnancy Head Case

Ok, so when you’re pregnant, there is NO filter, and every wretched emotion is amplified and raw and instant. So, here’s a PRIME example why any of my male readers should be grateful they’re not married to me, and any of my female readers should either relate, or be SUPER SCARED of pregnancy.
Disclaimer: I KNOW it’s not just me, girls. If you have experienced pregnancy with none of this emotional bulls&^%, then congratulmafrekin’lations –we might not be friends anymore.

…See my point? :)

The following example is a set of emails between myself and a co-worker who calls herself an “Office Manager”. Her name has been withheld. We’ll call her “Nelly”.

Email 1: Titled $0.40 lost :(

Hi Nelly-
While trying to snaggle a dingdong this morning, the crummy machine got stuck. Do you do reimbursements?

Email 2: Titled: ...and...

Oh, and the expiration on the one that did fall through (I tried a 2nd one) is FEB 21!!! We have bad food in there!

*Okaaaaaaaay, maybe they sounded a bit edgy. Hey, I had a full dingdong sitting in my trash (tasted DISGUSTING: they have a lot of give on the expiration date, and this was PAST) reminding me of my $0.40 loss. I didn’t, however, expect the vehement reaction:

Email 3: From Nelly


Well, I had a ding dong yesterday and I’m not dead yet (lol) and that crummy machine cost around $3000. Would you like your money back for both or just one (assuming you ate one)?
Please let me know and I would be glad to accommodate you.

Now let's just stop here for a moment while I collect myself enough to tell the story. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I seriously had FLAMES on the side of my FACE!!! I was HOT. I was SEEING RED.

I wrote:

Wow, didn’t expect you to take that so personally! Didn’t eat either dingdong, but since I’m sensing some inconvenience on your end, perhaps you should keep the change to help pay for such an expensive machine. :)

NO, the last email wasn’t sent; rather, I sent my response to my boss. I had my boss talk me off the ledge. This poor “Office Manager” would really hate me right now, and I would have created a “hostile working environment”, which is probably best avoided.

Pregnancy. NO bueno. …Please don’t piss me off.


Since it was just St. Paddy’s day, and Erin is an Irish name, I figure I’ll take a second and write about her! Erin is my bestest girlfriend. She is tall and beautiful –but has a quirky edge. Those who know her outside of work can only see her vulnerable heart of gold. Those who know her at work can see the heartless b&^$# that she can become from time to time. It’s one of my favorite things about her! :) I met her at work a few years ago, and she was mean to me a few times. I decided that this girl was going to be my friend whether she liked it or not. (I have that ridiculous challenge-mentality of making the unfriends my friends) After I quit that job, Erin and I remained close, but became much closer over the last year or so.

Here are a few things I have learned from the Erin-meister:
1- When she forgets she already got you a Christmas present, it works in your favor.
2- Listening is as important as being listened to.
3- Two red flags on a blind date mean NO-TOUCHY
4- Time can be made for those you sincerely care about.
5- Strength runs deep and can’t always be seen on the outside.

What I know about this woman and her story goes beyond a casual friendship. I think it’s why she’s so important to me. She has been inspirational to me by her strength and where she stands today with dignity and intelligence. Erin, you’re the best. I love you.