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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Torn

Ever had that horrible human moment when you say something you absolutely don't mean in complete deflection of what you should say to yourself?

Perhaps introspection at this juncture isn't the best idea. I have had more mirrors held to me in the last little while than I should have in a freakin' lifetime. It's all because of MY OWN DOING too. Maybe blogging birthdays and outings should be the point of "Becca and her peeps". However, I do know that someone who has the inclination to read my thoughts and see pictures of my life would have to love me in one way or another... So maybe it's okay to speak about myself from a personal point of view. Torn. This is a public forum. I have SO FAR to go to even pretend to resemble the woman I should be. ...And that's not even a perfect ideal! What's "perfect" is so far out of my line of sight it's frightening. I'm trying to keep up with a base-line of "would I be my friend?"....

Not answering that right now. ...But for the friends I have, I thank you. I love you. I need you.

8 comments:

Mary said...

I love you, sweetie.

Teri said...

I'm so honored to call you my friend. I love you!!!

Unknown said...

I'm totally confused as to what you are talking about. However; we all say and do stupid things (I'm the queen of it) that we regret. It doesn't make us entirely bad people, especially if we can look back, admit that we were in error and move forward with new perspective. I do know that even if you aren't perfect, your heart is good Becca, so don't be too hard on yourself. And I love to read posts like this, even though I'm not normally brave enough to blog my own.....I love you! Big hugs xoxo......

mommynolan said...

I can be a friend. I am here when you need to talk! I love you!

skipper said...

I love the birthdays and the outings and the introspection; and I love my friend Becca! Keep it coming!

Anonymous said...

I like you. You're human. I feel sick when I say or do something I have no place to say or do. I guess it's part of life. There's so much to learn. Most of it having to do with getting over ourselves.

Ashlee said...

Oh Becca. Aren't we all far away from the ideal? I don't think there is a woman alive that doesn't suffer from guilt in one form or another. When I grow up I am going to let it go. (although right now I certainly have my piece of it that I can't seem to get rid of) All I can do is my best right? May not be as good as another's, but it's mine. For what it's worth I think you are great. You were always a kind and generous friend to me. Wish we lived closer. I'd bring you some cookies :)

Jessica said...

Becca please know this that we may not see each other much anymore and also really haven't been friends for too long but since the day we met and got to know each other, you have been someone I strive to be like. I adore you Becca and everything about you. I am SOOOOO glad we are friends.