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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

thoughts

I became inspired by a blog post from a dear friend. I wondered what I’d tell my past-self about how her life ‘turns out’.
I’ve always said that I can’t stand it when people say they have no regrets in life --because I have a MILLION. My hind-sight seems to have no problems, but steering clear during the storm is quite a different tale.

I don’t know that I’d really have much to say to my younger self. I’d tell her to go to college.

What I’d really like right about now is some advice from my 60-year-old self. I’d love to hear about how the girls turn out. Did I completely screw them up? Did I stay with Lance through a rocky -yet loving marriage? Do I ever make it back to church and re-prioritize my life to center on what is truly and sincerely important: Jesus Christ? Did I instill the values of what I was raised with in my own girls? Can I say that I am proud of the moments I had all alone? Can I say that I cherished every special piece of raising my girls, knowing that there are no more babies waiting for me beyond the veil? Did I exercise and eat right and set an example for how to take care of myself -ultimately giving the gift of my own physical availability to my family? Did I make every effort to look beautiful for my husband and thank him all the time for how hard he works for our family? Did I ever manage to somehow inspire his own journey toward discovering God in his life? Did I let my friends know I love them? Did I stand by and support those who needed me?

I would love the advise from Rebecca with gray hair and wrinkles around her eyes. I would love to sit down and chat with her about my fears, my joys, my regrets.

What would I tell young Rebecca? Hell, I don’t have any more answers now.

8 comments:

Mary said...

Hmmm. Very interesting. I have never really considered what it would be like to be in my 60's. I have plenty of regrets and 'should have's,' but I am trying to take life as it is, good and bad.

Kate said...

I love these thoughts. xoxo

wendy said...

Love your thoughts, I would like to think that everyone thinks those exact same thoughts, I know I do, thanks for the therapy..haha

mommynolan said...

Well, now that I am seriously approaching 60 I know what I would have told my younger self. Maybe I will write a blog about it and yo can take what you want from it. It's a very interesting thought process.

Loya said...

I'm with you, Becca, on the "no regrets" claims. My personal list is long, but distinguished! I think people who claim they have no regrets are either lying, or not learning any lessons in life!

Happy New Year, cousin! :-)

Sarah said...

Great post, Becca. It's always harder to take a good look at your own mind than speculate on the minds of others. Thank you for giving me "big sister" advice when I need it! :) Love you!

Colette and The Chickenwings said...

Hmmm. That gives me one more thing to knock about this overloaded head...what am I going to regret or worry about when I'm 60? I'm sure it will be along the vein of lots of the things you mentioned, but I'll probably just be glad knowing I truly have done the best I could (at least I hope...) I guess time will tell.

Ashlee said...

Oh Becca. I think about these kinds of things a lot. For me I wonder actually about what my mom would say to me now. She used to be so proud of me but I think from heaven she must see ALL of me now and I wonder if she's still proud or if she's disappointed.

I'm totally with you on the regrets thing. I have a long list myself. The great thing though is that I believe so STRONGLY that people can change. If I didn't believe that I think I would shrivel up and die.

Here's to a Happy and Better (I know I will be trying!) New Year!