Friday, February 20, 2009


Some days there is something inside of me that wants to scream and tear away from my life for just a few moments. Sometimes the regrets about terrible decisions I’ve made in my life become overwhelming and I almost grieve a loss of something I never had. In a way, my heart is broken from so much of the wrong influence I’ve let in. In some ways, the perspective I have on life and whatever judgment I unconsciously put on others and myself becomes meaningless.

I have the sincerest faith in the profound meaning of one life here on earth –and the unexplainable effect it can have on others –the butterfly-effect, if you will. I think that when it comes down to it, it’s hard for someone to come to terms with the reality of their own significance, and insignificance at the same time. The balance within me doesn’t come from any doctrine, or any one particular influence. I believe that it comes from the compilation of my experience both in this life, and whatever it was in the previous life that led me to be placed here: in this date and time. I believe that from the knowledge gained –from the lessons learned – from the pieces kept in my heart; this is what makes me who I am, and okay with what I have become.


Kate said...

Beautifully put. I know how you feel about past choices in comparison to my life today. Maybe having our hearts broken from these mistakes is necessary in realizing the divinity of God and our potential to return to Him.

Kate's deep thoughts for today...


skipper said...

You have such a way with words, I enjoy reading everything you write! You've definitely given me something to mull around while I grocery shop today!

Anonymous said...

You really should be an author! I am amazed at the strength and love that you show in every situation and TO others that you come in contact with me. When I first started at Conservice and I had some rough days, you were always so comforting and sweet. It is a gift and your girls are truly lucky to have you as their mom. What a great example to them!