Angel

This little girl is my angel. She is such a helpful and loving big sister. I feel sometimes like I take her for granted -especially with her maturity- where I need to keep in mind much better that she's only five years old (six in a few days). Ella has been brimming with personality from the get-go, and though we often butt heads, I need to say; Ella, you are an absolutely amazing and wonderful little girl. I wouldn't change a thing.

Sarah's Pix O' Bri!

The other day when the fam-dam-bly was gathered for John's birthday, Sarah (sis, and fabulous woman) took some seriously darling pictures of my Brina-Babes. I had to share!!!

*Above: the full-gum. My favorite smile.

Thank you for loving my girls, Sarah! :)

So Close

What is it that make us humans behave -human? Why do we fight within ourselves against what we know is right for whatever vice it is that we think we need? Why is that vice so freakin' powerful?

I had a very sure reminder last night of what is truly important to me... Lance, I love you.

De Blog! De Blog!

OKAY! I promise I will be a better blogger this week!

30

In honor of my late brother John's birthday (April 18th -would have been 30 years old) my family gathered at my brother Dave's home for a good time and to share eachother's company. The tears came earlier in the day, as at different times he crept into my mind. My heart would break with the pain of the loss. No April 18th will ever pass without that sadness of knowing we're not celebrating completed years of his life. We celebrate that we had him, though. We celebrate the man he was -the brother, the son, and friend. John (and the absence of him) owns a massive portion of my heart. He has been referred to, and discussed in this blog many times. I guess it gets easier, and the pain lessens -until those time-stopping moments when my heart wants to explode with the "should-haves" and then picturing him playing his guitar singing "Cows with Guns"... :)

Man, I miss you John.

I stole pix from Mary, and for some reason, the darling shots of Mia kept coming! Sorry about the Mia-overload. She's just too stinkin' cute!

Mia and Nanny!

My sweet Ella-boo!

Not my best photo! Un edited, and braces shot! Ugh!

More photos to come from this when Sarah posts her stuff! *FORGOT MY CAMERA* Gruff!

...and...

Today has been CRAZY! ...And I'm tired! ...And my feet hurt! ...And I have a really itchy neck from a necklace I wore 4 days ago!!! ...And taxes suck! ...And my new driver's licence pic is HORRIBLE! ...And I need to do my nails! ...And my phone needs to be charged! ...And...

Stoopid Teeth.

PS-
I do know how to spell stupid, but by nature of the word, I think it's perfectly acceptable to spell it incorrectly. Kinda life-imitating-art, don't you think?

My smile has become very sad. It doesn't feel as warm or genuine because it's so embarrassing having this metal in my mouth. YES, I signed up for it, but NO, I hadn't any idea what a toll it would take on me.

Today I went to see the infamous Dr. H, who loves to harass me and see me in pain (payback for charging so much for babysitting when I was younger and in his care for braces-round-1, I'm sure). I got new brackets on the back teeth, and one is posed to move quite a bit during the next 4 weeks (before I get a new wire AND rubber-bands, super fun!). It hurts like the devil. When I bite, it shoots crazy pain up my tooth and I've taken several Excedrin today to deal with the headache. :(

Wondering if it's worth it. : /

...Guess I'm committed now! I just wish I could find a friendlier smile!

What I See

I love pictures. There are a million things behind what is captured in a photograph. Someday (though embarassed) I will be so happy that I have these amazing pictures posted on my blog. ...It's my journal, what I keep for me -and to have it documented is extraordinary.

edits

SABRINA
AMELIA

ELIZABETH

REBECCA

Gardner Village & SLC!

Mom and Dad are currently on vacation in Florida and we took Mom to SLC on Wednesday for the flight. We decided to go to Gardner Village -gratefully my sister Sarah tagged along!

Sarah!!
Ella with Auntie Sarah!

Milly-kisses and Sabrina-babes.A VERY tired Mia. Maaan, she was a crab for this trip!

Sabrina and her new bug!

Ella and her (freakin' $15) webkinz bird!

Afterward we hung out at Rachaels for the evening. It was SO much fun! Here's Rach with super cute Tessa-Roo (much healthier, I might add). *Thanks for having us, Rachael. We really had a fantastic day!

worth

What is the worth of a soul?
Who will fight for it? Who will stand by and let one go?

I have often said in this blog that I know who I am and what I stand for. That's not always true -and that's part of what frustrates me about myself. I know that everyone has their limitations and imperfections -I don't claim to be above that, or even okay with them. I do claim, however, that those imperfections that I have, I am all often too comfortable with. Being comfortable with mediocrity isn't okay with me, but it's a contradiction in terms. ...Perhaps because I am comfortable.
This is my only life. I'm not getting any new shots at becoming a better Rebecca. I'm not getting a second chance to "fix" what I neglect now. My own worth has been called into question, and because of this, I am forced to look at myself from an outside perspective. Would I fight for me?

I really can't answer that right now.

What Sarah Captured

My adorable sister Sarah caught a few sweet moments with her camera over our little "egg"stravaganza, and I wanted to share! *Love Phoebes at the bottom!
Me and Ella. BRACES shot! Gruff!
Little Bri with her sweet bottom lip out!
Sarah and Mia.
Sarah and my Bri-Bri.

Thanks for sharing, Butch!

Happy Easter!

Greetings all! This Easter has been wonderful. Above are the gilded eggs that Debbie and Donny made last night. ...Really, quite beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful, here I am NOT. This is my 6 AM shot that Lance took when I finally made it downstairs to see what the Easter Bunny brought a very bright-eyed Ella.

My Ella-Boo.

Mia made it downstairs and enjoyed the sugar-rush. This is her little hand with a purple jelly-bean!

I don't remember why Lance is so happy in this photo! Maybe because I'm so AWESOME.

This is my Easter Basket -filled with Cadbury Mini-Eggs (LITTLE DROPS OF HEAVEN) and my signature scent; Juicy Couture perfume!!! Good job, Lance! I got him a new alarm clock. Did I ever mention that I've hated the alarm clock he came with since day 1? 7 years later, I'm doing something about that! Go me!

Here is Ella's basket & new outfit. I (oh, the Easter Bunny) got her my favorite book from being a kid: Seuss' Wacky Wednesday! She loves it!

Mia's basket and outfit.

Sabrina/ My basket!

Here's my Easter Baby! Isn't that a sweet shot?!

Okay, we were in charge of rolls for Easter Dinner at the in-laws. I am QUITE impressed with my first attempt at from-scratch rolls!!! We're talking scalded milk, yeast, 2 rises, butter-dipped tops, the whole schmere!!! They were divine, if I do say so myself.

...I do feel I may have potentially set myself up for this specific requested requirement upon future gatherings, which may not be the desired outcome of my intense and loving labors.... Hmmmmmm.

WEIRD. While I was eating my dinner, Mia broke into a trance. I captured a few photos of the hilarity. We were giggling the whole time, and girlfriend never broke character.

Hee hee.

Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho!

OKAY! She snapped out of it.

Moi! Hope you all had a fabulous Easter.

*My gratitude for this day of-course goes deeply beyond bunnies and even new perfume. I am so blessed to have the knowledge for myself that Jesus Christ rose again, and that someday I will come face to face with Him. Heaven knows I have a whole lot to do before I get there. My imperfections stare back from the mirror everyday, and I know I owe so many people so much more than I give.

...Work in progress...