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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

thoughts

I became inspired by a blog post from a dear friend. I wondered what I’d tell my past-self about how her life ‘turns out’.
I’ve always said that I can’t stand it when people say they have no regrets in life --because I have a MILLION. My hind-sight seems to have no problems, but steering clear during the storm is quite a different tale.

I don’t know that I’d really have much to say to my younger self. I’d tell her to go to college.

What I’d really like right about now is some advice from my 60-year-old self. I’d love to hear about how the girls turn out. Did I completely screw them up? Did I stay with Lance through a rocky -yet loving marriage? Do I ever make it back to church and re-prioritize my life to center on what is truly and sincerely important: Jesus Christ? Did I instill the values of what I was raised with in my own girls? Can I say that I am proud of the moments I had all alone? Can I say that I cherished every special piece of raising my girls, knowing that there are no more babies waiting for me beyond the veil? Did I exercise and eat right and set an example for how to take care of myself -ultimately giving the gift of my own physical availability to my family? Did I make every effort to look beautiful for my husband and thank him all the time for how hard he works for our family? Did I ever manage to somehow inspire his own journey toward discovering God in his life? Did I let my friends know I love them? Did I stand by and support those who needed me?

I would love the advise from Rebecca with gray hair and wrinkles around her eyes. I would love to sit down and chat with her about my fears, my joys, my regrets.

What would I tell young Rebecca? Hell, I don’t have any more answers now.