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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Turn the page...

There has been so much to consider with this huge decision and shift in my life. Today was my last day of working in an actual titled office job. I am only ‘changing positions’ so to speak, as the work certainly doesn’t diminish -taking care of my two girls and being all kinds o’ pregnant -soon to be 3 girls to care for on a 24/7 basis. I can’t complain, it IS my choice, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. As I left the office today, it only felt right to close this chapter and embrace the next. There are a thousand fears that accompany the decision -and it’s going to be approached day-to-day; the only way I can, as I have no organized plan set up (which makes me crazy). I don’t know what to expect -from myself. I view this new life as one where I have little justification for impatience and frustration -however- I feel as volatile, vulnerable, and irritable as I have ever been in my life.
If we can make it through these next two months -and assuming the Lord blesses me with an even temperament after the baby is born, then facing the next five years and what they’ll bring will be all the more embraceable.
I want this. Really.

6 comments:

Joni said...

I totally understand your fears, but I think you are totally going to LOVE this and think that your family is going to be so blessed by this. I know how much you love your "working" identity and think that it goes to show what a terrific wife and mother you are to set that aside for your family.

Unknown said...

I believe children who have mothers that stay at home are very lucky. I'm thrilled that this is the next chapter in your life! I'll be right there with ya - on the "unemployed" wagon... come August! :)

Anonymous said...

I know. It's overwhelming. Some days we're just happy the kids are in bed and we get the night to recuperate (sort of, sometimes). Have you thought about joining a gym or walking group or something? I know, for me, it gives me a little time for myself, added strength for a tough job, and rejuvenates me. And it puts a little 'umph' in a day that doesn't have a whole lot of structure. Just a thought...

mommynolan said...

You will no doubt have to remind yourself many times that you really wanted this. the challenges are huge! And the tests will come, you cannot avoid them! Just remember, even though your children cannot thank you--will not thank you-- right now--someday they will!
You have! You were grateful and worth everything I had to give!
I love you, Mom

Mary said...

I'm glad for you, and I understand. Good on you, and good luck. Love ya!

brooke said...

congrats for making such a huge change and look luck with the adjustment. i'm sure your kiddos will love having you home all day :)